Thursday, June 27, 2013

Attack of the Food Over-Critics

Today I shall vent, not about corruption, sexism, surveillance or calamities, but about people who claim to be know-it-alls and their sole motive in life is to crib about all kinds of delicacies they are served with, I call them - The Food Over-Critics!

Food, flavours, tastes they are all subjective. What might be "Oh it was epic, mind-blowing you got to try it dude!" for me, would be "Yuck, it's so bland!" for my boyfriend (well that is where he and I differ in food matters and life).

My point being, I am all democratic about different tastes. I am not really fussy especially when eating out unless I am served with roaches in my soup (definitely not a Bear Grylls devotee). However what I have been noticing for a long time now is how much people can go on cribbing spree at 5-star hotels, restaurants, cafes, dhaabas, take away, thele wala or anywhere one is served cooked food or beverages. Personally all my experiences of dining with people (80% of them) have been nothing short of frustrating; friends, family, colleagues alike!

What makes them so highly critical of every little bite they take of the food which was ordered by who else but them only. How can all the food, in all places be bad? If it is so bad why don't they return it and ask for a fresh one after suggesting their own version or better still march into their kitchen and make it themselves? How can they manage doing both things at the same time - constantly cribbing and criticising the food, which they continue to hog. How does it happen really? What kind of food makes these Over-Critics happy? Or at least tolerable.

One might blame it on lousy service at many places, but I have faced the exact same thing at home even when it is a take away night or an order in lunch. When no matter what cuisine, what dish, what place it be, the food is disapproved of. See, there is a food expert (blogger/journalist/writer), a connoisseur, but sorry my dear overtly anal people, you are none.

Now the parameters for "the judgment" may vary from the usual (heard every time) "This is not good, not upto the mark!" to the more specific
"This is not properly cooked!" to "This is over cooked!"
"Should have ordered boneless!" "Boneless taste likes potatoes!"
"Why is the gravy of the butter chicken/shahi paneer sweet?" "Why is it not sweet?"

I mean COME ON!!! Make up your mind folks!

Then there is the breed who makes a face after the first bite or sip and just throw the rest away. What is that all about? It is not like you tasted Bat meat (no offence to those who love it).

Now here is a list of my questions to all these Over-Critics.

1. Who gave you the right to curse food which is edible, fresh, slightly different from what you might have expected, food for which you are paying your hard earned money?

2. How do you have the heart to throw and waste food? Were you all born of royalty in the medieval England?

3. How will you survive when you are travelling to some remote place or during an apocalypse?

4. What makes you experts at food? Clearly when all you do is find faults with everything?

5. Are you trying to teach me a subliminal lesson about society and politics?

My not so kind request to you all is: Stop Cribbing, Stop Wasting and Start Enjoying Food! Be Grateful! It won't solve world hunger problems but like someone wise once told me "You know the value of food when you know real hunger. Tantrums were cute only till the age of 3!"


Saturday, June 15, 2013

Hogging around Kasauli, Panchkula and beyond...

Firstly, before even leaving for Chandigarh, I was warned about a lot of things. Weather, food, people, blah blah. However, the first stop itself at Haveli, Karnal was a clear indication of what all was in store in our trip ahead.

Breakfast Chhole Bhature at Haveli, Karnal

While in Chandigarh our agenda was to buy/drink a lot of good booze at low prices. Yeah we are cheap like that! We were recommended Hops n Grains for fresh draught beer and decent snacks. Do not judge me for being overtly excited about it because this was the first time I had heard of the place. Situated in sector-9, Panchkula, it took us a lot of time to locate and finally place our asses on their high bar stools. But Boy! It was worth the drive. We ordered the Dark Ale beer and Penne Arrabiata with Chicago Style Pizza. The party was set and I got the happy vibe back again! This is undoubtedly the best beer ever I have ever had, risking exaggeration!

The Black Ale beer that cheered us all
Penne Arrabiata



The bar was raised at Timber Trail, Parwanoo

Now the best part about the whole trip. A meal which will not be forgotten in years. After reaching Kasauli (which was obviously not the brightest idea to go to during the "peak season"), we kept on looking for a place to chill, sit and drink. Every place was packed and full of tourists! Hence we stopped at a joint 'Lawrence Bar' of a little hotel called Alasia. It looked just about average and not very promising. Left with no other choice we eventually settled in their cafe with the name as "Constellation Cafe". With nobody in the favour of eating any form of Indian cuisine, the very amicable waiter warned us to wait 45 minutes for whatever "exotic" dishes we had ordered. Giving in, we decided to wait for that long. But behold! The visuals do not do justice to the taste and authentic flavours of each of them (except for the rice in Chicken Stroganoff). Avoid if you hate to wait.

Chicken Stroganoff

Fried Chicken

Shepherd's Pie

Spaghetti in Meat Sauce

After this lunch we all felt FULL FOR LIFE! Or maybe not.

A word of advice, a heads up: avoid Oasis restaurant even if you happen to be lost, famished for days or completely inebriated. This place looked fancy but fell flat in taste, quality, service, prices and everything you can ever imagine going wrong in the hospitality industry. Horrendous experience!

Oasis, Pinjore (Panchkula)

Friday, January 25, 2013

Bombay Bliss, Mumbai Majja

People from Delhi have always complained about food in Mumbai. "There is no decent place in Mumbai for dal makhani" or "Mumbai street food sucks", to one of the most common remark, "They put curry patta in everything" and so on.

Since I had never visited Mumbai (That's right! Don't know why people go horror-struck when they hear it) in 26 years of my existence, food wasn't even on my mind. The 5 day vacation over the New Year's Eve was supposed to be a booze-fest and all about daily hangovers. Everything changed the moment I stepped out of the airport. The first stop was the Jumbo King (had to be had). And thus began our days of gastronomical portions and proportions.

For any average Mumbai resident, it won't be a big deal! I know. Nevertheless the raving shouldn't stop especially by someone who had never experienced the city of dreams till now.  

A big thanks to our hosts, they knew what we would like and they knew where to take us. Not a single meal or snack disappointed a BIG Foodie from Delhi like me. We kept on clicking whatever, wherever we could to satisfy our senses later. Some world famous joints, some just a redi-walla, it all added up for a tummy-happy vacation! 

This blog is dedicated to the incredibly crazy food trip. No better way to bring in the new year! Here are a few shots of mind-boggling fare (I am not too sure about the exact names of a few delicacies, because I was busy hogging them). 

Rs. 8 Vada Pao, Jogeshwari Thela

Cheese Masala Pav,  Juhu Beach Chowpatti

Chicken Dum Biryani, Northern Tadka, Mallad

Chicken stuffed in chicken, Northern Tadka, Mallad



Veg Mezze Platter, Bora Bora, Bandra 


Chicken Steak, Bora Bora, Bandra

Veg Twin Pasta with Mashed Potatoes & Mixed Meat Mixed Sauce Pasta, Bora Bora, Bandra


Chicken Stuffed Garlic Bread, Pizza by the Bay

Bacon, ham and chicken Pizza, Pizza by the Bay

Shrimp and chicken Noodles with Prawn Konkani, Janata Restaurant & Bar


Mixed Meat Noodles with Fish in Oyster Sauce and Chicken Arabiatta Pasta @ Buffet, Grand Sarovar Premiere


Lemon Tart & Tiramisu, Theobroma

Red Velvet Cake, Bandra


And of course every trip is incomplete without :)

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

No Central Perk for Delhi

The Original Central Perk Fixation


Every cafe/restaurant that I have recently visited has an aura of arrogance about it. The ambiance of these places shouts out money and vanity. Money that they will extort from us and vanity that their decor slaps us with. An element of cool, casualness is definitely what goes missing. I do not mind torn upholstery as far as the coffee they serve is easy on my pocket and has a consistent taste every time I visit. Call me the pseudo-intellectual hipster, but I like my cafes shady, shabby and cosy. A coffee house shouldn't just serve some random imported South American coffee in fancy mugs. The waiters shouldn't look at me disapprovingly if I take out a pen and paper to write out my thoughts or give me a cold shoulder if I am wearing my bathroom slippers in their oh-so-swanky restaurant. I need to feel comfortable when I sit there alone or wait for my friends while sipping my cuppa.


Under the ambit of wanting to look and sound cool, let me rant on the kind of new-age cafes we have in Delhi. For me, they are massive blots of colour-blocking, fancy lighting, plastic seating, shiny flooring and the works. Now, I have come across some extremely hipster cafes recently. They are arty, quirky, fun alright, but what goes amiss in most of these places. (Oh of course I will say it!) The Taste, The Quantity, The Price! And it makes me mentally scream at the top of my mental voice "YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!" (as the meme goes).

I, as a consumer, am greedy. Of course, I would be! It goes from my pocket. I need a place where I can truly relax, call it my second home and not crib about massive holes in my wallet. Why?

Because I need to be IN LOVE with a place to frequent it every single day. Yes, cafes spell romance for me, be it the nostalgia of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. or just the idea of writing a world-famous boy wizard series (Hail, Rowling!) right there in my favourite spot of my regular cafe.

Thanks to the flamboyant attitude and superficiality innately embedded in this city's culture, the emphasis nowadays is on fine dining, expensive pubbing and the dhinchak discos! Various commercial factors of the owners and businessmen across the city are adding to the misery of a handful like me.

Therefore I dejectedly and safely conclude that there would be never be a Central Perk in Delhi.


Friday, September 21, 2012

Mountains are Fine! With Food and Wine! Just Drink and Dine!

Caution: Drool-worthy content below. Protection of your keyboard isn't the responsibility of the blogger.

McLeodganj (Himachal Pradesh) was a last minute plan for this year's special birthday "chilling"! It was important to keep it as quiet as possible. Off-season, rains, no mood to party yet the intention to enjoy with a glass in my hand, sweet music, mountains around and mouth-watering food was very much alive. McLeodganj, as I was warned by many, shouldn't be visited in August for it's rainy, flooded, chaotic, deserted and boring. To our surprise it was pretty much what I wanted. Quiet, undisturbed, pleasant, not crowded. With a rain-shower every now and then, the weather was a lot like Delhi's around that time. Places to eat and drink were cozy, casual and oozed a sense of belonging. With a tiny cafe or a bakery visible in every other house, there were a lot of options to choose from. Thankfully, places were not crowded at all in comparison to the full-bloom (read on-season). The places were mostly full of Tibetans, Europeans but very few Indian tourists. So in between treks and exploring the little town, I kept on clicking whatever, wherever we hogged. So cheers to a trip of booze, love and lots of food!


Aloo Momos/Dimsums

Chicken Momos/Dimsums

Any celebration is incomplete without BEER

Local Pineapple Wine

Plum Wine

Smoothies were had too

The Poison

Jimmy's Pasta Chicken Soup

Garlic Bread and Cheese

Pasta in Mushroom Sauce

Flat Tibetan Noodles with Mutton

Tibetan Noodles with Mutton

Baked Potatoes with Tuna and Cheese

Chicken Rissotto

All Meat Pizza

Sausage and Salami Pizza

Angry Chicken Pasta

Rhododendron Wine

The Birthday cakes 1. Yak Cheese cake 2. Triple Choco Brownie

Me hogging away to glory. All done in 10 minutes.