Thursday, June 27, 2013

Attack of the Food Over-Critics

Today I shall vent, not about corruption, sexism, surveillance or calamities, but about people who claim to be know-it-alls and their sole motive in life is to crib about all kinds of delicacies they are served with, I call them - The Food Over-Critics!

Food, flavours, tastes they are all subjective. What might be "Oh it was epic, mind-blowing you got to try it dude!" for me, would be "Yuck, it's so bland!" for my boyfriend (well that is where he and I differ in food matters and life).

My point being, I am all democratic about different tastes. I am not really fussy especially when eating out unless I am served with roaches in my soup (definitely not a Bear Grylls devotee). However what I have been noticing for a long time now is how much people can go on cribbing spree at 5-star hotels, restaurants, cafes, dhaabas, take away, thele wala or anywhere one is served cooked food or beverages. Personally all my experiences of dining with people (80% of them) have been nothing short of frustrating; friends, family, colleagues alike!

What makes them so highly critical of every little bite they take of the food which was ordered by who else but them only. How can all the food, in all places be bad? If it is so bad why don't they return it and ask for a fresh one after suggesting their own version or better still march into their kitchen and make it themselves? How can they manage doing both things at the same time - constantly cribbing and criticising the food, which they continue to hog. How does it happen really? What kind of food makes these Over-Critics happy? Or at least tolerable.

One might blame it on lousy service at many places, but I have faced the exact same thing at home even when it is a take away night or an order in lunch. When no matter what cuisine, what dish, what place it be, the food is disapproved of. See, there is a food expert (blogger/journalist/writer), a connoisseur, but sorry my dear overtly anal people, you are none.

Now the parameters for "the judgment" may vary from the usual (heard every time) "This is not good, not upto the mark!" to the more specific
"This is not properly cooked!" to "This is over cooked!"
"Should have ordered boneless!" "Boneless taste likes potatoes!"
"Why is the gravy of the butter chicken/shahi paneer sweet?" "Why is it not sweet?"

I mean COME ON!!! Make up your mind folks!

Then there is the breed who makes a face after the first bite or sip and just throw the rest away. What is that all about? It is not like you tasted Bat meat (no offence to those who love it).

Now here is a list of my questions to all these Over-Critics.

1. Who gave you the right to curse food which is edible, fresh, slightly different from what you might have expected, food for which you are paying your hard earned money?

2. How do you have the heart to throw and waste food? Were you all born of royalty in the medieval England?

3. How will you survive when you are travelling to some remote place or during an apocalypse?

4. What makes you experts at food? Clearly when all you do is find faults with everything?

5. Are you trying to teach me a subliminal lesson about society and politics?

My not so kind request to you all is: Stop Cribbing, Stop Wasting and Start Enjoying Food! Be Grateful! It won't solve world hunger problems but like someone wise once told me "You know the value of food when you know real hunger. Tantrums were cute only till the age of 3!"


Saturday, June 15, 2013

Hogging around Kasauli, Panchkula and beyond...

Firstly, before even leaving for Chandigarh, I was warned about a lot of things. Weather, food, people, blah blah. However, the first stop itself at Haveli, Karnal was a clear indication of what all was in store in our trip ahead.

Breakfast Chhole Bhature at Haveli, Karnal

While in Chandigarh our agenda was to buy/drink a lot of good booze at low prices. Yeah we are cheap like that! We were recommended Hops n Grains for fresh draught beer and decent snacks. Do not judge me for being overtly excited about it because this was the first time I had heard of the place. Situated in sector-9, Panchkula, it took us a lot of time to locate and finally place our asses on their high bar stools. But Boy! It was worth the drive. We ordered the Dark Ale beer and Penne Arrabiata with Chicago Style Pizza. The party was set and I got the happy vibe back again! This is undoubtedly the best beer ever I have ever had, risking exaggeration!

The Black Ale beer that cheered us all
Penne Arrabiata



The bar was raised at Timber Trail, Parwanoo

Now the best part about the whole trip. A meal which will not be forgotten in years. After reaching Kasauli (which was obviously not the brightest idea to go to during the "peak season"), we kept on looking for a place to chill, sit and drink. Every place was packed and full of tourists! Hence we stopped at a joint 'Lawrence Bar' of a little hotel called Alasia. It looked just about average and not very promising. Left with no other choice we eventually settled in their cafe with the name as "Constellation Cafe". With nobody in the favour of eating any form of Indian cuisine, the very amicable waiter warned us to wait 45 minutes for whatever "exotic" dishes we had ordered. Giving in, we decided to wait for that long. But behold! The visuals do not do justice to the taste and authentic flavours of each of them (except for the rice in Chicken Stroganoff). Avoid if you hate to wait.

Chicken Stroganoff

Fried Chicken

Shepherd's Pie

Spaghetti in Meat Sauce

After this lunch we all felt FULL FOR LIFE! Or maybe not.

A word of advice, a heads up: avoid Oasis restaurant even if you happen to be lost, famished for days or completely inebriated. This place looked fancy but fell flat in taste, quality, service, prices and everything you can ever imagine going wrong in the hospitality industry. Horrendous experience!

Oasis, Pinjore (Panchkula)