Tuesday, December 11, 2012

No Central Perk for Delhi

The Original Central Perk Fixation


Every cafe/restaurant that I have recently visited has an aura of arrogance about it. The ambiance of these places shouts out money and vanity. Money that they will extort from us and vanity that their decor slaps us with. An element of cool, casualness is definitely what goes missing. I do not mind torn upholstery as far as the coffee they serve is easy on my pocket and has a consistent taste every time I visit. Call me the pseudo-intellectual hipster, but I like my cafes shady, shabby and cosy. A coffee house shouldn't just serve some random imported South American coffee in fancy mugs. The waiters shouldn't look at me disapprovingly if I take out a pen and paper to write out my thoughts or give me a cold shoulder if I am wearing my bathroom slippers in their oh-so-swanky restaurant. I need to feel comfortable when I sit there alone or wait for my friends while sipping my cuppa.


Under the ambit of wanting to look and sound cool, let me rant on the kind of new-age cafes we have in Delhi. For me, they are massive blots of colour-blocking, fancy lighting, plastic seating, shiny flooring and the works. Now, I have come across some extremely hipster cafes recently. They are arty, quirky, fun alright, but what goes amiss in most of these places. (Oh of course I will say it!) The Taste, The Quantity, The Price! And it makes me mentally scream at the top of my mental voice "YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!" (as the meme goes).

I, as a consumer, am greedy. Of course, I would be! It goes from my pocket. I need a place where I can truly relax, call it my second home and not crib about massive holes in my wallet. Why?

Because I need to be IN LOVE with a place to frequent it every single day. Yes, cafes spell romance for me, be it the nostalgia of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. or just the idea of writing a world-famous boy wizard series (Hail, Rowling!) right there in my favourite spot of my regular cafe.

Thanks to the flamboyant attitude and superficiality innately embedded in this city's culture, the emphasis nowadays is on fine dining, expensive pubbing and the dhinchak discos! Various commercial factors of the owners and businessmen across the city are adding to the misery of a handful like me.

Therefore I dejectedly and safely conclude that there would be never be a Central Perk in Delhi.